Unemployed

I am so, SO tired of searching for employment. My story is like so many others... and I'm not trying to be selfish. I'm just trying to be transparent.

Many of you know that I graduated with my Masters degree in December 2009. I've been looking for a job in my field ever since. I've applied to at least 400 jobs... had about 12 interviews...6 second interviews. And no offers. I have recommendations galore, a shining resume, a stellar transcript. I have "connections" and have been the "shoe-in" several times. It doesn't matter.

I've struggled with feeling "less than," feeling rejection. And yet, in the back of my mind, I know GOD is in control. And I've been nothing short of grateful that throughout this time, I've had my heart's desire- to be a stay-at-home Momma to the BEST little girl in the world. I love it. I wouldn't trade it for a salary and benefits.

Yet, sometimes my mind reels... and I just get *stuck* wondering "What's the deal, God?! Don't you know that we're unemployed and uninsured??" And every time bills are due, there's always plenty to pay them. And every time the pantry is bare, it gets filled right back up again. God is absolutely faithful & true- Jehovah Jireh! Your mind would be blown if I gave you numbers... but to put it simply, we've had more money in our bank account being unemployed and frugal-minded than we ever had ever. Pretty impressive since Arthur left a well-paying career in the Army last Fall. But the point is- God is simply amazing.

But, even with all this truth I'm weak sometimes. I doubt. I get mad. I start feeling "entitled," "better than" that other person who got the job... "more qualified." You get the picture. And every time God teaches me the lesson of humility. Of deep faith. Of complete and total dependence on Him. He sends me encouragements along the way- kind words from friends and family, a verse that ministers to my soul, a worship song that let's me know He is working in my waiting!

And tonight... here's the words I read when I couldn't sleep... 12:20 a.m. and I open my eSword software to be quiet and alone with Him. Here it is:


One Step Closer to a Yes (Rylism)
"Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around." (Proverbs 13:12, The Message)


A friend in the promotion business says, "Every time someone tells me "NO!" I get happier — because I'm one step closer to that person who will say "YES!"


Some people cannot bear to be told "NO" even once; let alone repeatedly. And then there are others who stop just one person too soon. All they needed was to ask one more time. But they didn't. Disappointment can do that to you if you let it. Especially if it seems to be unrelenting — one blow after the next.


Years ago I discovered a splendid little poem that has anchored my life in those times when everything seems to be going wrong — times when your hopes are dashed, your dreams have faded, your deepest desires thwarted, and when so many great expectations become inexplicably disappointed. Maybe you will find it helpful, too.


"Disappointment. HIS appointment. Change one letter, then I see that the thwarting of my purpose is God's better choice for me!"


It is true, as the proverb says, that unrelenting disappointment can leave you heartsick. But the rest of the proverb is also true — "a sudden good break can turn life around." One doesn't come without the other.


Draw yet another breath, my fellow traveler; though you have paused alongside the road — you have not stopped. Your journey is not finished. There's a bend in the road up ahead. And the bend in the road is not the end of the road — unless you fail to make the turn.


Tip your hat respectfully to old man Disappointment, and then be on your way; for God has something better in mind for you. And though you have heard "NO" perhaps a thousand times — you are actually one step closer to a "YES!"


And that single "Yes" can turn your life around!


Thank you, Lord for Your plan for me... I'm waiting for the bend in the road!! My time WILL come in accordance with Your timing. <3

XO
Jessica