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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Marriage Matters: Deployment Edition- Mail

It is a huge blessing in this era to have access to Wifi, FaceTime, texting and other ways to be connected via technology. 

But with that comes a slack in sending physical mail. This deployment cycle there is little mail received by our troops. 

Many people believe since it's not a time of war that our men and women in uniform do not need support or encouragement. But that's far from the truth. Peacekeeping is just as important (if not more important) than a time of conflict. And our men and women sacrifice their time and family memories to go and keep the peace. 

There are so many care package ideas out there. Some are simple: stuff a box with snack foods. And others are elaborate ideas of theme boxes, decorating interior box flaps to match and placing only themed items in the box. Sadly I fall into the latter camp (thanks to my OCD and creative tendencies). 

Here's some of my current projects to mail to hubby: 

A small book with themed notes to fill in and send. 

Hubby loves Starbucks coffee and it's very expensive overseas. 

Hope these spark some creativity and desire to send love to your other half. 
XO,
Jessica


Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Family Matters: Deployment Edition- Scripture

much wiser, seasoned military wife (20+ years) told her story of how they purposed their hearts to serve God foremost as they served our country. And God was always faithfully present with her family through each deployment. One way they chose to put God first was by choosing a family verse. What a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness throughout a difficult season! When we face difficult circumstances, we often need to cling to the Word. 

With deployment on the horizon I began to ask God to show our family a scripture to cling to. During morning devotions the day before hubby left, I stumbled across I Thessalonians 5 and found the scripture that is and will be our foundation for these next 9 months. 


When my iPhone dies, I will rejoice, pray and give thanks. 
When my kids have a bad day, I will rejoice, pray and give thanks. 
When I feel overwhelmed by the amount of time separating me and my beloved, I will rejoice, pray and give thanks. 
When my hubby misses important dates and moments, I will rejoice, pray and give thanks. 

I'll choose to rejoice. 
I'll choose to pray. 
I'll choose to give thanks. In ALL circumstances. Good. Bad. Ugly. 

Because that's Gods will for us. This deployment may not be easy, but I can still do the will of my Father in the midst of it. 

I posted this scripture on our deployment wall. I sent a wall decal of it to my husband. And when those moments where you just want to fall apart come, I will have this memorial stone to gaze upon, redirect my heart and hold on. Because all things come to an end, even this deployment cycle. 


Sunday, April 17, 2016

Marriage Matters: Deployment Edition- Devotions

Military couples face challenges in their marriage in ways most people never have to explore. We've been on both ends of the spectrum- having a failing marriage in deployment and now working toward a thriving marriage despite physical separation. 

Ways we enrich our relationship long-distance vary. But one thing we've always done is read matching devotionals. (Yes- even before Art knew Jesus as Savior & Lord he read a devotion with me! Keep planting seeds, Ladies, if your husband is unbelieving still).

 My Aunt gifted us our first set of matching devotions when Art left on his first deployment to Afghanistan in 2003. And we've adopted that idea as ours over the years. We have found this method works well. It helps to keep us the same page spiritually in some regard and it gives us something to connect with mutually.

The pages are dated so it's a great place to jot down important dates in his copy to remind him of events, birthdays, etc. 

In my copy I also jot down important milestones for the deployment- the day he left. The half-way point. The homecoming, when applicable. It's a nice reminder of God's steadfast presence in this time. 

It's also a great place to stash some notes with sweet nothings. :) 

Our choice this 4th deployment cycle is Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young. 




Deployment- The First 24 Hours

Goodbye is never easy... The lump in your throat. The ache in your heart. The bloodshot eyes from all the tears. The feeling like you're drowning and can't get a good grasp of air. Honestly, it gets increasingly difficult the more frequently we have to say goodbye. This is deployment #4 for us, but our first in the Navy and our first with children. 

I didn't comprehend though how much it'd hurt my heart to watch my children say goodbye to Daddy. It was an absolute mess. Gut-wrenching. 

We enjoyed our day with relative normalcy. Pancake breakfast. Went to sushi for lunch. Had a nice spaghetti dinner. Then the time came... The time to say goodbye. 



Arthur first put Gideon down for bed. It was so emotional to know the next time he embraces our sweet baby boy he'll likely be walking and talking and a whole different little fella. 

We took our time with our sweet girl. She had a fancy bubble bath. And then we did goodnight family prayers. The waterworks began as we asked Jesus to strengthen us, protect us and bind our hearts together. Then Arthur took Giana to bed. They cuddled, talked, and even giggled. Then they cried and embraced. I could tell Arthur ran out of words. He sang instead 

"Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name. 
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I'll worship your holy name."

His voice cracked. I stood silently in the hallway with tears streaming down my face begging God for grace and strength. They said goodbye. Arthur walked out of her room and into our room. He closed the door and sobbed. 

I tucked Giana in to calm her down. It was God's grace that allowed me to remain calm, quiet and peaceful. We talked. We commiserated. We prayed again. I tucked her in and she was peaceful. She fell asleep without tears, thank God. 

The remaining hours whizzed by before he left our home. We talked. We laughed. We dreamt. We cried. He held me as I drifted asleep on the couch in the wee morning hours, awaiting the dreaded time he had to leave. I felt safe. Complete. And yet I was full of apprehension and sorrow. 

He put his bags on the porch. We embraced. We kissed goodbye. And then he realized his ride was running late. He came inside. He hid sweet nothing notes around the house for the children and I to find. We waited, mostly in silence for there were no words to communicate our loathing of the coming moments and days and months. He'll miss the rest of this YEAR. 

And the red car pulled up. His comrade came to whisk him away. We hugged and cried. We held our breath so we didn't fall apart. We kissed. We said I love you. And he left. Loaded the bags. Closed the car door. They pulled away. And I stood in the foyer in partial disbelief. It's here. Deployment has arrived. 

I fell asleep due to pure emotional exhaustion. Morning came fast. I was greeted by a beautiful bouquet of lillies opening up on the breakfast nook table. The children awoke. We went about our normal routines, preparing for church service. Giana found some notes tucked here and there. Even in his absence Arthur cares for us in his steadfast ways. 





Church was sweet. We watched 5 people journey through the waters of baptism. I was reminded that this journey began with a call for. God to serve the hurting people in the Armed Forces. And today it was more real. The sacrifice that always accompanies unconditional love. We obey God knowing He has a purpose. Arthur is gone ministering as a Chaplain to our Marines for a reason. 

I worshipped God without reservation. I lifted my hands and tears fell. He's so near when you're broken-hearted. We went home afterward. Gideon napped well. Giana and I shared lunch. We went on a walk when the baby awoke. We played in the sunshine. We made a deployment bucket list. We called Great Grams. We enjoyed the quiet of Sunday. We ate dinner. We bathed. We read. We said prayers and kisses. 



Just 289 more days to go... And I'm sure by the end we'll understand in part why we must endure such pain. But in the midst of it we know Jesus is beside us. Just like He is beside you.