Today

Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I've loved this verse for years. I've said it to myself a million times. I've used it as a handy "advice verse"- you know, the verse you rattle off to someone who's being a "worry wart" when you want to sound churchy.


I've always focused this verse on the message of "worrying"... I am not a worrier by nature. Strange, since I am a woman... Now before you go thinking I'm some super-spiritual person or some freak of nature let me say: I believe it's a gift the Lord has given me. I don't ponder long upon possibilities. I have a hard time envisioning the future- what my precious daughter will look like as a woman, or even as a 5 year old! I have a hard time dreaming of retirement with my dear Husband. Whatever it is, I've actually been kind of mad I can't be so futuristic minded. I rest assured knowing Who is the Author of my Future. And I simply leave it at that.


In the same regard, I've not been one to hold on to the past as a crutch, either. Sure, I've felt the long-term effects of trials, tribulations and emotional wounds. But I know in my heart God is healing those areas. I know my past brought me exactly where I am today. I am grateful I do not live a life where I'm engulfed in "should haves" or "what ifs." I'm truly appreciative of where I've been and how it's taught me valuable life lessons.


But, today-- that's the only other place to be. If I cannot focus on tomorrow or yesterday, all that's left is today. 

Live for today: a popular slogan. I even have a sign in my kitchen that boasts "One Day at a Time!" But, when I really dig deep and think, I do not live for today. 

• Do you know that today is the only time ever that your husband will say those sweet words that particular way with that particular glimmer in his eye or that particular smirk on his face?
• Do you know that today is the only time ever that your child will hug you that tight and say that particular silly little thing or want that ridiculous stuffed animal with her (or him) at all times?
• Do you know that the most wasted of all days isn't the one without laughter, but the one where you take every single moment for granted?

I'm a planner. A type "A." The "To Do List" person. But when I focus on checking off the boxes- focusing on getting from point A to point B in the agenda- I am totally, completely, entirely missing point A! 


So, then the question has to be asked: If I'm not living in the past or the future nor am I living for today, then where am I? The answer is not what I wanted to hear. But The Still, Small Voice clued me in: Selfishness. I'm living in selfishness. Do you know how incredibly selfish I've been to think MY agenda is the only agenda? Do you know how incredibly selfish I've been putting off to tomorrow affection for my family... or fun... because I have "something to do." I get so caught up in being a "Martha" I forget entirely about "Mary." I get so caught up in doing and being who I think God wants me to be that I miss GOD'S AGENDA for TODAY.


So, TODAY... right now... this very moment... I resign from my selfishness. I desire selflessness. I desire GOD'S WAY for now. Right now. I will smell my daughter's hair when she gives me a quick hug. I'll squeeze her tighter knowing this moment is the only moment guaranteed. I will laugh at my husband's joke, even if it's the 1258th time I've heard it. I will stop being so caught-up in my "To Do's" of the day that I don't miss the "Who's." I will enjoy each moment, not because I fear that there may not be another, but because it's a gift. That is, after all, why we call today the PRESENT.

to·day

 [tuh-dey]

noun: this present day

XO

Jessica