Happy New Year

"You crown the year with Your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance."- Psalm 65:11

I am claiming that verse for 2010 for our family and in my life. I feel the Lord has great abundance in store for us- spiritually, emotionally, financially... Though it will take choices and discipline on our behalf, I know the Lord's bounty is more than anything I could fathom.

I'm not a believer in resolutions for the whole year; instead, I believe in small goals that are achievable. Sure, I'd love to lose a lot of weight, get ahead in our finances, spend more time with the Lord... But, those goals are too vague, too "non-commital" for me. I need something tangible and reachable. Something where I can look back and see the evidence of success.

For many years now, pursuing my education has been rewarding. I learn knowledge. I spew it out on an exam or paper. I put it into practice. I'm good at it. I like it. Some days, I love it. And in the end there's a reward- a pretty piece of embossed paper to say "I did it!" But now that I have my Masters degree on the wall, I wonder "Is this it?" I think maybe I need a PhD. But, that's not it at all (though not out of the equation entirely). I need something that feels as rewarding as becoming educated.

SOMETHING. Well, that's vague.

But the further I ponder what "something" is, the more I realize that it is part of the human condition. It's identity. I need to know "who I am" apart from a scholar.

I spend my days lately at home mothering. I joke around with people that I'm "overeducated and unemployed." But, that's how I feel at my core. Although I know comparing yourself to others is ridiculous, it's human. I look at peers and think "Wow, they have a great career. Nice house. Picket fence. If only I had it as together as _________."

Now, don't get me wrong. I know the Lord has given me the desire of my heart when He gave Giana to me. Being a Mommy is great. It's a huge responsibility to love for, nurture, and mold a little person's spiritual, mental, and physical character. You can drive yourself batty as a mother wondering if your baby is "learning enough" or "eating enough" or "sleeping enough" or "being independent enough." I thoroughly thank God for these moments I get to share with Giana. They are once-in-a-lifetime. They are precious. And she is the sunshine on any kind of day. A true delight.

Yet, as darling as Giana is, she should not be my sole source of "joy."

JOY is my something... Habbakuk 3:17 says "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls..." Now, let's look at verse 18... "Yet I will REJOICE IN THE LORD; I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR."

So, basically, Habbakuk is trumping me. He's starving and still he finds joy. That makes me want to know joy the way Habbakuk knew it. I want to look at the circumstances of life and find joy. This means:

"If dinners not on the table in time, have JOY."

"If the bills are paid and there's not as much left as you hoped, have JOY."

"If people view you in a negative way, find JOY."

"If my spouse doesn't appreciate me the way I think I deserve to be appreciated, find JOY."

"If my kids are ungrateful or especially naughty, find JOY."

How do you make time for joy, though? Everything's a time crunch, a race against the clock, a "how many things on my 'to-do' list can I check off today?"

Ah, but then we look at the end of those verses... It comes down to one factor- Jesus. HE is my Joy and strength! The same power Jesus held to raise the dead, heal the blind, set the captives free... it's in ME! I have the ability to tap into that strength 24/7. But do I? No, not nearly as oft as I should. It seems that only happens when drama comes. When doom arrives. But, imagine the unspeakable JOY I can have... you can have.... if we learn to use the power of our Savior in the day-to-day.

With my commitment to greater joy, my hope is that it eminates into a joyful home, a joyful marriage, a joyful child. And with JOY comes contentment. And with contentment, GREAT GAIN! And in the grand circle of things, Psalm 65:11 will come to fruition.